Coby’s Story
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So, long story short...
Coby made the mistake of
trusting the wrong church people and letting them affect me
My Advice to You is
watch their actions and see if they line up with their words. Listen closely to their words
Here's the whole story
When I first started going to church, I was belittled and told that I wasn't good enough. This is ironic because church is a place where you should be encouraged and loved by other church people (the bible instructs this).
They told me my hopes and dreams for the Lord weren't important and I was to spend my time assisting them in their dreams (at little or no cost to them). I spent my time and talent on these people all because I thought I was the doing the right thing by helping my Christian brothers. While this is true, my generosity, longing to belong to a group was also being taken advantage of.
I soon realized that these people weren't my friends even though they said they loved me. I've learned to watch people's actions and see if their actions match-up with their flattering and affirmations - their words. If not, you gotta fake friend on your hands. If I would've paid attention and not been so carried away with the novelty of church life, or believing that I needed these particular people, I wouldn't seen them for who they truly were much sooner.
All I really needed was Jesus anyway.
Also, watch their words (listen) and read between the lines. You'll hear the implied "put-downs" if you listen closely. I learned that some people put others down because they don't like themselves.
My advice: confront your church offenders and if they don't stop their offenses (get others involved), if they still continue to "cut you" end the relationship. You don't need that negative energy because you'll begin to believe it, as I did. It puts you in a one-down position for them to take advantage of you even more.
Be strong and assert yourself as I finally did as I ended the relationships and moved on. I now stay in a relationship with Jesus because He never belittles me and has my best interest at heart. I can now recognize a fake friend from a real one.
Comments (4)
My advice Give up the imaginary friends (god, jesus, holy spirit and anyone who claims associations with them) and start growing a back bone. Hiding behind religion is the true sign of your lack of worth. Use your brain to achieve your goals and ambitions in a way that respects others and yourself. You have the capacity, but do you have the courage? With religion, you always have an excuse. "God didn't want me to achieve" really means "I just didn't have what it takes" By trusting your own abilities you remove any excuses and become more of a human being for doing so. Sounds hard, but that's the way it is.
Learingatlast, you really don't understand, Jesus may be imaginary to you, but not to me. Actually, I have even more self-worth because of my relationship with him. I haven't known anyone to use God as an excuse to not achieve or do ones best.
Mine you, I'm not religious and religion or God isn't an excuse to NOT achieve. Anyone that says that isn't following the Christian faith according to their bible (rule book). God wants us to achieve and has given us all the power to do just that. To say, "I can't" or "I'm worthless" is a clear sign that the Christian is mistaken and needs to get back on track.
In all religions and or social groups there are people who will try to take advantage of the "newbies". My story was about that and for those who understand "church stuff" - you don't. If you decide to give up on God or say their isn't one, that's your choice. As for me, I can't live without Him, there was a void in my soul before I met Him, now its gone.
I'm envious of those such as yourself that say they “found God.” I can’t turn my back on the foundation from which I was raised on, but at the same time I can’t wholeheartedly follow my religion. I believe that most religious people in the world feel the same way I do. You should feel blessed to be as sure as you are.
Most religious people DO feel the same way you do. I know I did. I left both because of the emptyness inside. That's why I had to get away from religion and get Jesus, I found Him by studying the Bible.
Religion is man's way of trying to "get to God". Men will tell you to follow a bunch of rules and at the end of the day, you still feel empty inside. They are wrong. Christianity is God's way of getting to mankind through the relationship with Jesus. Study the bible for yourself, religion is not part of Christianity - don't listen to man, listen to your bible. I'm very conscious of my needs and so I can't follow religion - I still attend church which is apart of Christianity but I don't get all mixed up in the minute rules of men - I maintain my relationship with the Almighty God.