treynolds7’s Story
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Made on January 24, 2007
So, long story short...
While treynolds7 was trying to change someone's destructive life patterns
treynolds7 made the mistake of
telling them what they were doing was wrong
My Advice to You is
love people for who they are, your love and compassion is the only thing that will change anyone
Here's the whole story
I knew a girl who was generally interesting and cool when I met her, but she began getting into the party scene hardcore and putting her self in situations that were detrimental.
I tried to tell her if she continued what she was doing she would end up leading an empty and shallow life, but in my telling her this she only shut me out and went downhill faster than ever.
I learned that really no-one can ever change anybody by trying to force them to change. The absolute only thing you can do is love someone for who they are and hope they find their own right path.
In short, Love People.
- TR
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Comments (5)
I agree with this to a point, but I think if you see a close friend struggling and you know they are going to bring harm to themselves you have to step in at some level. It might not be a full fledged intervention, but it could be an offer to do something else or to actually go with them and try to keep their attention off the things that will get them in trouble?
I agree that in the end you have to be there no matter what, but you wouldn't be a real friend without at least trying to help.
manipulation. it works. trust me
Manipulation may work. Loving another for what they are at the same time hating what they are doing isn't promising.
I'd vote for just letting things be. If people are going to make their own bed, let them sleep in it. It isn't your responsibility to hold their hand when they need to get back up. After awhile, all you'll be is a crutch, a life line, a personal money bank. Basically, these people are ultimately manipulating your goodwill towards them.
I usually just say that they're going to end up in a bad way and leave it at that. If they want help once they pick themselves up, I'll be there in a flash... after a few blood tests of course.
I agree with you, sometimes it helps not forcing someone to change. Because the effect can make the person do the thing you just don't want them to.